57 Dirty Christmas Pick Up Lines For Lumps of Coal

This blog post is all about Christmas pick up lines.

Need some good pick up lines for your next Christmas party? Then we have the ultimate naughty list for you. These dirty Christmas pick up lines will be funny to use on your crush.

Even though these pick up lines are pure GOLD, they won’t guarantee you get their number. That all depends on your execution and how drunk they are (just kidding).

So lets get into these holiday pick up lines that will for sure earn you a lump of coal this Christmas.

Dirty Christmas Pick Up Lines

1 Ever made love to a green guy?

2. I can be a mean one, if that is what you are into.

3. My heart is not the only thing that could grow 3 inches.

4. Now I WOULD touch you with a 39 and a half foot pole.

5. If I cant find a reindeer, I’ll date a fox instead.

6. Can I take a picture of you so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas.

7. Just pat my head, get me a drink and take me to bed.

8. Want to sit on the north pole tonight?

9. Is your name jingle bells, because it looks like you go all the way.

10. What do you say we make a not so silent night.

11. I didn’t think I was a snowman, but you make my heart melt.

12. If I were the Grinch, I wouldn’t steal Christmas, I’d steal you.

13. I’m just like a Christmas present, you’ll love waking me up to me in the morning.

14. Are you Christmas? because I want to merry you.

15. I’m dreaming of a white Christmas and I’m not talking about snow.

16. If you jingle my bells you’ll definitely have a white Christmas.

17. Are you looking for a Christmas tree topper? Because I’ve been told I’m a star on top.

18. Call me Santa because I’ll be a ho ho ho for you!

19. When I think about you, I touch my elf.

20. I want you to shimmy down my chimney tonight.

21. You could be my little drummer boy in the bedroom.

22. I don’t have a foot fetish, but I’m really into you mistletoe.

23. Will you help Santa let is snow tonight?

24. When you think about it, I am the opposite of Santa because I bring toys when you’re naughty.

25. Are you a stocking? “cause I wan to stuff you.

26. Let’s exchange Christmas gifts. I’m yours and your mine.

27. They call me a present. Want to unwrap me?

28. I was going to warm my hands by the fireplace, but you’re hotter.

29. I feel like a Christmas tree when I am with you because you make me light up!

30. Are you the north star because I’m trying to have you lead me home tonight.

31. Shouldn’t you be at the top of the tree? Because you are an angel.

32. Unlike me, Christmas came fast.

33. So, you’re not on Santa’s naughty list? Well,I can change that.

34. If a fat guy grabs you and put you in a bag, don’t panic. I told Santa I wanted you for Christmas.

35. All I want for Christmas is your number.

36. I’d like to play with your ornaments.

37. I know it’s not Christmas yet, but Santa’s lap is always ready.

38. I’ve got something in my sack for you.

39. Forget 12 days of Christmas, I want 12 days with you.

40. No need for a sleigh, you could just ride me.

41. Do you want to be Santa’s helper? Because you could have my sack.

42. I like you Christmas wrapping, but I’d have to inspect it.

43. And if you ever saw it, you would even say it glows.

44. Wanna meet Santa’s little helper?

45. I must be a snowflake ’cause I’ve fallen for you.

46. Sit on my lap and I’ll give you a merry christmas

47. I’d love to show you the toys my elves make for adults.

48. Let’s pretend to be presents and get laid under the tree.

49. If you left leg is Thanksgiving and your right leg is Christmas, could I visit you between the holidays?

50. He may have a nice car but I have a fast sleigh.

51. Even Santa Doesn’t make candy as sweet as you.

52. If kisses were snowflakes, I’d send you a blizzard.

53. Let’s role play Christmas decorating. I’ll be the tree and you be the angel because I want you on top of me.

54. Hey babe, I checked it twice and I am pretty sure you’re on my naughty list.

55. On the 11th day of Christmas, the pipers aren’t the only ones piping this time, baby.

56. Black ice isn’t the only thing that brings me to my knees.

57. Are you a snowball? Because I bet you’ll melt in my hands or my mouth.

Bonus Joke: Why did Mrs. Claus want to divorce Santa? Because Santa only comes once a year!

Not dirty enough? Read related post: 177+ Dirty Pick Up Lines That Will Get You Slapped (NSFW)