215 Best Dirty Pick-Up Lines (NSFW)
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This article is all about dirty pick up lines that are not suitable for beginners.
Dirty pick up lines are such an in-demand topic. According to our research, there are approximately 165,000 Google searches for dirty pickup lines. So we wanted to bring you the best of the best and freshest lines for all the seducers out there.
WARNING: These dirty pick up lines are extremely inappropriate and NSFW. Please use these with complete caution. Or as a joke, a very stupid joke. These dirty pick up lines are not for everybody
In fact, use them with someone you know and ask what they think before you actually use them out in the real world. Or use them as a joke with your girlfriend or boyfriend.
Now that we established that you will NOT use these on someone without practicing them with a trusted friend, Here are the dirtiest pick-up lines we found online.
The more you scroll, the WORSE they get!!
Dirty Pick Up Lines That Will Make You Cringe!
Here are some funny, cringe-worthy and dirtiest pick-lines ever created. By the end of this post you will know what exactly NOT to say when meeting an attractive stranger.
1 Sleeping alone is a waste of my sexual talent.
2. I am putting you on my to-do list.
3. Are you butt dialing? Because I swear that a** is calling me.
4. You are just like a snowflake: beautiful, unique and with one touch, you’ll be wet.
5. Just checked my battery life, it’s at 69%.
6. Are you a woodchuck? Because I can see your wood.
7. I find your lack of nudity disturbing.
8. Can I read your T-shirt in Braille?
9. Wanna go halfsies on a baby?
10. How do you want your eggs? Poached, scrambled or fertilized?
11. Let’s both be naughty together and save Santa a trip.
12. Are you a mask? Because I want you on my face.
13. I promise I’m not like what you’re used to.
14. I wish I was your phone, so you’d be on me all day.
15. Are you the last air bender? ’cause I’d definitely like you bending for me.
16. Is your last name s*icide? because I want to commit to you.
17. Is your a** a library book. Because I want to check you out.
18. Do you have a nickname? If not can I call you later?
19. Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?
20. You with all those curves and I’m the car with no breaks… ooohhh -Drake
21. I’m afraid of the dark. Could you sleep with me tonight?
23. You’re the first thing I’m going to do after this lockdown.
24. Is you body a map? because I love to travel.
25. That’s a nice smile. It’ll look better if it was all you were wearing!
26. I licked it. So It’s mine. 😉
27. You are worth every sin.
28. Don’t tell me what to do unless your naked.
Still there? Here’s More Funny and Dirty Pick-Up Lines
Most of these funny dirty pick up lines are for guys, but we managed to get a few for women to use. Take a look at these:
29. I will give you a kiss. If you don’t like it, you could return it.
30. Do you work at Build-a-Bear? Because I’d Stuff you.
31. Baby you gotta body like a Benze. I just wanna drive it once again. -Jeremih
32. Legs like that should be wrapped around my neck.
33. You wanna know which hug is the best hug? One that comes with a solid a___ grab.
34. Twinkle twinkle little star, let’s have sex inside my car.
35. Are you from China? Cause I’m China get into those pants.
36. If I were a balloon, would you blow me?
37. Do you have any room for an extra tongue in your mouth?
38. I’m not a dentist, but I could give you a filling.
39. Kissing burns 2 calories per minute. We could workout sometime.
40. Your body is a wonderland, I just want to be Alice.
41. Is your period bothering you? If so, I can stop them for 9 months.
42. Hey, I got your vitamin D for today.
43. Hey may I use you thighs as earmuffs?
44. Was your dad a baker? Because you’ve got a nice set of buns.
45. I lost my keys can I check your pants?
46. Do you have a switch? ‘Cause Baby, I wanna turn you on.
47. I know three ways to make six inches disappear.
48. I lost my virginity. Can I have yours?
49. They call me coffee because I grind so fine.
50. Is your name Medusa, because I’m rock hard.
51. Want to save water by showering together?
52. I may not go down in history, but I’ll go down on you.
53. Want a job? It blows.
54. Do you believe in karma? Because I know some good karma-sutra positions.
55. You know, I would die happy if I saw you naked just once!
56. That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor tomorrow morning.
57. I got banned from all nude beaches. They said pythons weren’t allowed.
58. I’ll kiss you in the rain so you can get twice as wet.
59. My tongue could do a better job of teasing you than my words can.
60. You’re my sunshine and my rain. You make me hot and wet.
61. Want an Australian kiss? It’s like a french kiss, but down under.
62. Do you work on a chicken farm? ’cause you sure know how to raise a c*ck
If you are still reading this, then these are the DIRTIEST pick-up lines we’ve ever heard
63. I’m not a weatherman but… you can expect 7-8 inches in your forecast tonight. You won’t be able to leave the house for few days.
64. I heard you like basketball. I got two balls your chin could dribble.
65. You’re so hot that I just want my volcano to erupt inside you.
66. I hope you have pet insurance because I’m about to destroy your p***y.
67. Do you like Krispy Kreme? ‘Cause I’m gonna glaze your donut.
68. Should I f___ you like a good girl or a bad one?
69. Do you like Disney + ? Good because we could Disney + and bust.
70. Girl, you make me want to dive into that sea… that pus-sea.
71. Would you like some alphabet soup? because you’ll be choking on the D.
72. Are you a book because I’d split you open and explore your insides.
73. So what are the chances of my balls slappin’ your a** tonight?
74. You make my whole week, now let’s make your hole weak.
75. I’m blind, may I hold your stick?
76. I f____ way too good to have to touch myself.
77. Spankings because cheeks were made for blushing.
78. There will be only 7 planets left after I destroy Uranus.
79. F*** me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist right?
80. Do you like pies? I make very good cream pies 😉
81. The FBI is looking for my p_____. Could I hide it inside of you?
82. There are no chairs left. Can I sit on your face?
83. Are you a stack of dirty dishes? ‘Cause I want to get you wet and do you all night long.
84. Are you from China? ‘Cause I’m China suck your _______.
85. Those are some nice legs. What time do they open?
86. Roses are red, violets are blue. Sugar is sweet, I bet that p_____ is too.
RELATED: 65 Cheesy Pick Up Lines For Laughs
87. Don’t worry, I played Tetris. I can make it fit.
88. What are you doing tonight? I mean, besides me?
89. Do you like to draw? Because I put the D in Raw.
90. Remember my name, you’ll be screaming it later.
91. I wanna do you after school like some homework.
92. Roses are red, violets are fine. You be the 6, and I’ll be the 9.
93. Want to go back to my place and watch porn on my flat screen mirror?
94. I put the STD in stud, all I need is U.
95. Yo girl, you into fitness? Well how ’bout fitness d____ in yo mouth?
96. You remind me of my big toe because I’m going to bang you on every piece of furniture I own
97. Goodnight. And if you dream of me, remember I like it rough.
98. Could I borrow a kiss…
99. Are you a doctor? Because I’ve got a bone for you to examine.
100. Kissing is the language of love, do you mind starting a conversation?
101. I’m not into watching sunsets, but I’d love to see you go down.
102. Are you a sea lion? Because I could see you lion in my bed tonight.
103. Your legs are like an Oreo cookie. I wanna split them and eat all the good stuff in the middle.
104. I could fall madly in bed with you.
105. Let me insert my plug in to your socket and we could generate some electricity.
106. Are you a blanket? ‘Cause I love when you’re on top of me.
107. Hey, do you wanna be my hope? The “p” is silent though.
108. Has anyone ever touched your belly button from the inside?
109. Hey, I have a kitten. You could pet mine if I could pet yours.
110. I’m lost, can I get directions to you bedroom?
111. Are you a rare steak? ‘Cause if you were bleeding, I’d still eat you.
112. Do you work at a tech store because you turned my software into hardware.
113. I don’t want to initiate this conversation by saying you’re beautiful, because beauty is on the inside and i haven’t been inside you yet.
114. You want to know why menu is my favorite word? ‘Cause it involves me n u.
115. I ain’t a singing teacher, but I bet I could make you scream your highest note.
116. Are you an elevator, ’cause I’ll go down on you.
117. Are you a rubix cube? Because the more I play with you the harder you get.
118. You look like a hard worker. I have an opening you can fill.
119. My voice ain’t deep, but my throat is.
120. I know you’re busy, but could you add me to your to do list.
121. Want to see a movie or do you want to make one?
122. I’m wasted, but this condom in my pocket doesn’t have to be.
123. Want to play Titanic. You could be the ocean and I’ll go down on you.
124. I’m jealous of your heart because it’s pumping inside you and I’m not.
125. I’m lactose intolerant but I’ll try your cream.
126. You made me scream without the s.
127. I’m like a firefighter. I find them hot and leave them wet.
128. Do you have a mirror in your pants? ‘Cause I can see myself in them.
129. If you were a part of my house, you’d be in the basement. So I could put kids inside you.
130. Are you a garden? ’cause you are turning all these hoes on.
131. I want to kiss you passionately on the lips, and then move up to your belly-button.
132. What’s a nice girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?
133. Are you my homework? Because I should definitely be doing you, but I’m not.
134. I heard your grades are bad. I’m sure this D won’t hurt.
135. Did you sit in a pile of sugar? Because you have a pretty sweet a**
136. I’m scared of getting pregnant, so do you want to go up to my room and test all of my condoms.
137. I’m feeling a little off today. Could you turn me on?
138. You should sell hotdogs because you already know how to make a weiner stand.
139. Dang girl, I’d love to kiss those luscious lips, and the ones on your face too.
140. If I flip a coin, what are my chances of getting head?
141. Are you Autumn? Because you’ll be coming soon.
142. Do you like discounts? Because clothes are 100% off in my room.
143. Are you a haunted house? Because I’m going to scream when I’m in you.
144. Can I take you on a ate? Oh sorry, I forgot the D. I’ll give you that later.
145. I ain’t the Hulk, but I’m still trying to SMASH.
146. With school, I want an A. With you, I want to F.
147. I’m not a waitress, but I’ll take your tip.
148. Pizza is my second favorite thing to eat in bed.
149. Are you a Seargent? Because you’ve got my privates standing at attention.
150. Just call me fertilizer because I could make you grow over six inches tonight.
151. Beauty is only skin deep, but my d___ goes in deeper.
152. Do you like trampolines? ‘Cause I got something for your to bounce up and downs on.
153. We may not know each other yet, but I want them jaws and walls to know my balls.
154. That dress looks great on you… as a matter of fact, so would I.
155. I don’t think I want your babies, but I wouldn’t mind refining my baby making technique with you.
156.
Dirty Pick Up Lines Are Not for Everybody…
Congratulations! You will forever have a dirty mind after reading these dirty pickup lines. These weren’t exactly smooth pick-up lines but they are worth a shot for funny jokes. You may actually get some laughs with these.
Here are some smooth pick up lines (much better)
These are good pick up lines that you could actually use, and they may do the trick!
1 If we were socks we would make the perfect pair.
2. Let’s flip a coin, heads I’m yours. Tails, you’re mine.
3. Are you from Tennessee? Because you’re the only ten I see.
4. I just tested positive for co……..nstantly thinking about you.
5. My phone is broke because your number is not in it.
6. I can’t turn water into wine, but I could turn you into mine.
7. Are you mixed? You look half fine, half mine.
8. You’re like Addison Ray’s new song…… I never play you.
9. Is your dad Osama because you are the bomb!
10. I want you to know something but I’m kind of scared to say it, so I’ll let the first three words of this sentence say it for me.
11. I’d say God bless you, but it look like He already did.
12. Even if there wasn’t gravity, I’d still fall for you.
13. My favorite type of tea is….. You SHAW-TEA!
14. Are you Jasmine without the Jas?
15. Mario is Red, Sonic is Blue. Can you press play so you can be my player 2?
16. Are there any cops around? ‘Cause I’m about to steal your heart.
17. Are you the sun, ’cause you light up my day?
18. Do you have an inhaler? ‘Cause you took my breath away.
19. Is you mom’s name practice? ‘Cause practice makes perfect.
20. You may fall from the sky, you may fall from a tree, but the best way to fall is in love with me.
21. I think there is something wrong with my eyes because I can’t take them off of you.
22. Are you French ’cause maDAMM you fine.
23. Hey, I ain’t no cashier, but you got a couple things I want to check out.
24. I’ll never play hide and seek with you because someone like you is impossible to find.
25. This is a long shot, but are you single?
26. If being cute was a crime, you’d be guilty as charged.
27. What are you doing for the rest of your life? Because I want to spend it with you.
28 “I think you’re bionic. And I don’t think you’re beautiful, I think you’re beyond it.” Lil Wayne
29. Of all your curves, your smile is my favorite.
30. Are you an artist? Because you’re drawing me in.
31. The doctor says I’m lacking vitamin U.
Now Here are Some Funny Pick Up Lines you could save for a rainy day.
1 Could you bring me to the doctor. I broke my leg falling for you.
2. Are you a bank loan? ‘Cause you got my interest.
3. Here’s some water, you must be tired from running through my mind all day.
4. I want to go swimming, but I’m already drowning in your eyes.
5. I don’t know CPR, but I do know mouth to mouth.
6. I wonder if you look both ways before you cross my mind.
7. Are you Da Baby because Lesssss Gooooooo out on a date.
8. Is your name nobody? ‘Cause I heard nobody’s perfect.
9. You ever been to France,’cause Eiffel for you.
10. Look how stupid I look…….. Without you!
11. I ain’t using Google no more ’cause when I saw you, my search was over.
12. Is there something wrong with your left eye? ‘Cause you been looking right all day!
13. If I could rearrange the alphabet I’d put you an I together.
14. Life without you is like a broken pencil, pointless.
15. Feel my shirt…. That’s boyfriend material.
16. If you were a transformer, you’d be Optimus Fine.
17. Are you a parking ticket because you’ve got fine written all over you.
18. Like the onion on my sandwich, I wanna take you out.
19. Did you fart, because you just blew me away.
20. They say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Well apparently, no has ever been standing next to you.
21 Do you have a pencil? Because I want to erase your past and write our future.
22. Are you my phone charger? ‘Cause without you I’d die.
23. Would you grab my arm so I can tell my friends I’ve been touched by an angel?
24. Did you feel that? Was that an earthquake or you rocking my world?
25. If you were a booger, I’d pick you.
26. Did you get your license suspended? For driving all these guy/girls crazy.
27. My love for you is like diarrhea. I just cant hold it in.
28. Dang girl, are you a dinosaur? ‘Cause Jurass-is-sick.
{RELATED: 81 Dirty Questions to Ask a Guy to Flirt Instantly}
This blog post was all about dirty pick up lines.
